Changes
by Black-Tinged-With-Pink
Summary: Hermione changed over summer, and thinks its as far as the changes will go. But her worlds about to be turned upside down. The Dark Mark's appearing everywhere after Harrys attack. And what are these thoughts she's having about a certain redhead? Read plz
1. Unnoticed

Changes  
  
Disclaimer – You all know the drill, I don't own Harry Potter at all, just this particular plot. So don't sue me :)  
  
Chapter 1 – Unnoticed  
  
Hermione Granger sat on the Hogwarts Express, at a bit of a loss. Ron and Harry were next to her, talking about all the "hot babes" Hogwarts has now. "Should have known," she thought, "that the change from 6th to 7th would have brought THIS out."  
  
She excused herself and went to the train toilets. Standing there, she looked at herself in the mirror, deep in thought. Her hair was still bushy and unruly, but her eyes a lovely brown. Sure, she had gained the shapeliness a woman should have, but she couldn't help looking at the stomach. In reality it was unnoticeable, but to her it was like she was pregnant. With twins. FAT twins. Sighing, she ran her fingers through the thick mane of dark hair and unlocked the door. Immediately she stepped out in the path of Draco Malfoy. "Well well well Granger," he began, eyes taking in every part of her body, "haven't we grown up!" "Oh grow up Malfoy." She said, trying to sound uncaring and confident, forcing a hating snarl into her voice. But she couldn't help her eyes roaming around his body. And typically, he noticed. He winked at her, drawling "Eyes to yourself, woman.", then left. Hermione sighed again and made her way back to the compartment with Ron and Harry in it.  
  
The rest of the train journey was passed in silence on Hermione's behalf. She didn't particularly want to contribute to this drool-feast. Upon clambering into the carriages to tae them to the castle, Draco winked at her again, and then laughed with his stupid cronies. Probably some comment about what a filthy mudblood she was. That phrase still haunted her to this day.  
  
The feast went alright, she sat next to Ginny and they caught up. Hermione was surprised at how much Ginny had changed over the long summer holidays, so pretty. Her red hair cascaded beautifully down her back, 1 wisp constantly being tucked behind her ear, and constantly falling out. Ginny admired Hermione too, and pulled a strand of Hermione's hair out of the hair tie. She arranged this just like her own, and smiled. Hermione could do nothing else but let her first smile for that day creep out on her lips.  
  
Feeling better, she made her way sleepily to the common room. Despite her tiredness, she and Ginny stayed up all night chatting and giggling. After all, Ginny had been the only person to comment on her lip ring. Harry and Ron hadn't even noticed the big boots she wore. Nor the baggy jeans. Nor the Linkin Park skinny t-shirt . . . that had hurt. Then again, Draco's new style had gone unnoticed too. His jeans were black and loose, he wore Bam Margera Adios trainers and a HIM shirt. "It really has been a long summer," she thought. Little did she know, there were many more changes to come.  
  
I know it's short, but it's just a starter chapter really. Don't feel you have to review yet, just keep checking back please :) thanks 


	2. Draco's Surprise

Chapter 2 – Dracos Surprise  
  
It was the weekend, Saturday night at 7pm. Sitting in the library, Hermione had "Hogwarts: A History" open. But behind it was Kerrang! Magazine, she was currently looking at the Pandora cartoon, wishing she had hair like that. Her boots were just visible under her robes, and InMe pounded in her ears. It was a month into the term, and still no comment from Ron or Harry. They had barely said a word to her; in fact all they ever asked was whether or not she could set one or the other of them up. But she had had very loud comments from several professors! She ran her tongue across her lip, feeling the comfort of her ring. It was like her touchstone, a reminder she WAS different.  
  
Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder, as she had asked Ginny to call in on the way back from Quidditch she assumed it was her and turned round smiling to be confronted with Draco Malfoy's chest. "Oh, you."

She just about managed to say. His white CKY shirt had gone see- through in the rain, and he was grinning oddly. "Couldn't help noticing the look, Granger." He said, pointing at the boots and lip ring.

"Er, yeah." She replied. Silence. "And . . . ?"

"Well I wondered if you would care to follow me." And he began to saunter away.

A little voice in her head was telling her that following Draco was a bad idea. But her curiosity got the better of her, and the heavy boots started out the door of the library.

No words were exchanged on the way. Draco swayed a little as he walked, and cursed every so often when he tripped over his feet. Hermione was getting a little worried about him when he walked straight into a tree at the edge of the forbidden forest. "Um, are you alright Draco?" she questioned, as he looked around bemused, then giggled. 

"Yeah." Then he grinned up at her "so its Draco now is it?"

"Only if it's not Granger. Or Mudblood." "Done, Hermione." She just rolled her eyes and followed him cautiously into the forest.

Soon enough, they reached a little hollow. There was smoke masking her view between the trees at the edge to begin with, but as she got closer she was amazed. Sitting there were around 7 students, from 5th year upwards, of every house. Except Hufflepuff. The reason for this was about to become clear. The smell of marijuana hit her almost instantly. That explains Dracos odd walking, and his friendliness. Draco took a joint off Crabbe, and took a long drag. His lungs seemed to be bottomless the amount he took in, and then he breathed it out, his face distorted, and offered it to Hermione. Hermione had smoked before, that was the fault of the girl who changed her look too, but never anything like this. Anything illegal. Cautiously, she took the joint, and looked at it smoking in her hand. 

"What's in it?" She asked after a while.

"Turnips." Draco replied. Hermione just stood there for a moment, and then raised a slender eyebrow. Draco and Crabbe erupted in giggles.

"I'm sorry, but did the oh-so-hard Draco and Crabbe just _giggle?_" she taunted. And they both stopped and Draco feigned sulking.

"Don't take the piss Hermione. It's mean." At this he giggled some more and stood up. Walking over to her, he was smiling with just 1 side of his mouth, he extended an arm. For a wild moment, Hermione thought he was going to pull her in for a kiss, but instead he grabbed the joint. He inhaled a deep drag, and blew the smoke out in her face. When she opened her eyes, he was inches away, and murmured "go, try, you'll like. Trust." And he winked at her once again.

Hands shaking slightly, she took the half smoked joint and brought it up to her lips. And she inhaled. Next thing she knew, the group was chanting "choke choke choke!!" as she sucked in as much smoke from the 2 litre bottle as possible. The joint rapidly disappeared, stuck in the bottom, as she sucked the drug into her mouth, which was clamped around the bottleneck. Sure enough, she coughed the smoke out, and they cheered. The bottle and finished joint dropped to the floor, as did Hermione.

* * *

She awoke to a very concerned looking Draco. "Oh Merlin Hermione I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry; I should have slowed you down for a first-timer!" 

"Meh, don't worry about it." She had a pounding headache and her back stung where she had fallen in nettles.

"What's the time?" Draco muttered a spell and I giant clock appeared in midair. It read 2:47 am. They were over 4 hours late for lights out.

As the clock vanished Hermione jumped up and began to stagger as fast as possible in the direction of the castle. Draco jumped to his feet too, and steadied her. "Don't worry man, we've done this plenty of times, they never check. But damn, you falling down and not waking up sure did straighten me out! Good job too, I think I went in excess tonight. I blame you, you naughty girl!"

"Why me? What did I do but accept what you gave me!"  
  
"Ha! You were the one that conjured up that bottle and rolled a mean joint! And of course you made us do the hold-down pass."  
  
"Did I really?"  
  
"Yuh huh."  
  
"####." At this, Draco just laughed. He was actually alright, Hermione thought to herself.  
  
As they neared the castle, Hermione looked up to her dorm window and wondered how on earth she was going to get there without being caught. Especially in her current state! That's when Draco whispered "Accio broomstick" and sure enough his broomstick came soaring out of a window. Hermione smiled and laughed; when Draco raised an eyebrow at her she replied, "Now I know where your room is in the prefect wing". He just smiled back at her. Suddenly, it struck Hermione what she was doing. She was hovering outside her window, stoned, on the broom of her enemy, and she was enjoying it!  
  
Saying a quiet goodbye to Draco, she clambered haphazardly through the common room window. Tripping over a cushion on the window ledge she cursed, and fell flat on her face. Thankfully, it was quiet. Picking herself up, she looked down at her muddy boots and ripped jeans, and just as she was thinking how good it looked she came face to face with a rather angry Ginny.  
  
"Oops."

* * *

Well there we go, another chapter. Hope it's all ok, now is where you guys come in! R&R, but don't be evil. Be nice or constructive please. Thanks for reading :) 


	3. Too Different

Chapter 3 - Too Different

"Where the HELLhave you been 'Mione?!" Ginny fumed quietly, pacing around the room while Hermione busied herself unlacing her boots and picking at the dry mud. "I was bloody _worried_! Gale said she saw you and _Draco_ walking off out of the library and I almost _died_! I thought he had, like, _abducted_ you!"

Hermione just sat there, feeling a tad ashamed, yet feeling as if she was in a hammock. Swaying gently back, and forth, back, and forth, with Draco there, yeah, back, and forth . . . .

"_HERMIONE? _Are you even _listening_ to me?!?!" Ginny interrupted the swaying drugdream Hermione was in and stormed over to her. Luckily, Gin had had the sense to cast a silencing charm; she knew she would explode at some point.

"Yeah, I'm here," upon seeing the not amused look on Ginnys face, Hermione decided that now would be a funny time to wave at her and beam idiotically. That was when the slap hit her. Another wakeup call for Hermione.

"Sorry, Gin." She said, looking at her stripy-socked feet. At this, Ginny just sighed, and pulled her best friend up into a hug.

"Don't worry hun, I understand. I knew immediately what was up; I've seen the twins come home like it enough times. It was just the fact it was Draco I was so mad about."

"Jealous, were ya?" Hermione teased, winking.

"No," Ginny replied, sticking her tongue out. "No, it's just, well, _Draco._"

"Yeah, I get ya." and the two smiled at each other and went up to bed, arm in arm.

* * *

Hermione awoke Sunday morning with a dry mouth and a very foggy head. As she sat up, it took about 5 seconds for the world to follow time with her. Groaning, she heaved herself out of bed and had a cold shower, enjoying the way her hair went smooth and straight, then curled gently as it dried a little. She loved her hair like that. But if she had left it lie that it would just frizz up at the first sign of wind, moisture, or well, life. Yet to discover a spell that worked on her hair, she just let nature take it course. So she blow dried it into the usual explosion, dressed, and went into the common room to find signs of life. No-one was in dorms, seeing as it was 1 in the afternoon. Sure enough, Ginny was curled in her chair, reading Lord of the Rings.

Flopping down on the window ledge next to the worn armchair, she poked her best friend in the side to get the attention. Ginny squeaked, flew a foot forward off the chair, ran back and proceeded to tickle Hermione to death. This provoked the rolling of eyes from various Gryffindors, and a few looks of disgust that the pair had never worked out.

"So Hermione, ready for a nice jog? Maybe we can do some hard math, or perhaps I can tempt you to chocolate?" Ginny teased, knowing full well that Hermione wasn't ready for thinking, moving, or eating. Closing her eyes and turning away from the bar of snapping chocolate, she caught sight of Harry and Ron, busy flirting with Lavender. "'Mione, I think you should go over." Ginny said. So she did.

Harry and Ron glanced in her direction for a mere second, and grunted a quick "hi" when she addressed them. Frowning, Hermione waited until Lavender had to go and meet her Slytherin boyfriend, and then tapped Harry on the shoulder as they turned to walk away.

"Hey, dude, why don't you talk to me anymore?"

They both stopped, looked at each other, then at the floor.

"Well come on, it's actually quite upsetting you know."

"We're sorry 'Mione, but your just . . ." Ron began, before trailing off. Sure enough, his partner in crime picked up where Ron left off.

" . . .well, too . . . _different_"

Her mouth dropped open. _Too different?!_ How _dare_ they!

"As I said, it's not that we don't like you as a person. Because you're intelligent, but your style is too, extreme. It's just, we don't want . . . trouble."

"TROUBLE? What sort of _trouble_ do you think I'm going to cause?! And I guess of course I'm not 'hott' or 'fine' enough to be taken notice of otherwise!!"

Ron cringed. He hated Hermiones explosions, especially the ones from being hurt.

Harry looked down at his shoes again and murmured "you know, from, the Slytherins…"

"FUCK THE FUCKING SLYTHERINS!" She shouted, aware but uncaring of the stares she was getting. No one had heard her swear before. Ron cringed some more. "You're angering them by flirting with their leaders girlfriend! That will get you into more god damned trouble!" Then she lowered her head, paused, and said quietly. "I thought I was your friend."

Silence.

"Mione . . ." Harry began.

"Don't talk to me you guys, I need to think. I can't believe you two. You have your priorities all wrong." Her eyes glistened with tears as she looked up at them again. Then she bit her lip, held her head high, and walked back into the dorm. Ginny picked herself up and walked over to a shocked Harry and Ron.

She said quietly "I thought it was just pure insolence. Not that you were deliberately ignoring your best friend since 1st year. I'm disgusted." With that she began to walk upstairs to see Hermione. At the top step, still being watched by Harry, she turned round and said coolly "oh yeah, and Harry? You're dumped." Then opened the door and walked in.

* * *

She came in to see Mione sitting on the window ledge, the threat of tears still present. "Oh darling, don't listen to them. I still love you no matter what yeah? I think you're gorgeous, I would love to have the courage enough to be individual like you. You look so good in all your new shit, it's such a step forwards for you. And those people you were with last night were all the same!"

Hermione sniffed, and received Ginny's hug warmly, tears leaking gently from her eyes.

"Do you know Gin, the reason why I go so mad down there?" Ginny shook her head. "It was because in the holidays, when I first went out looking like this, feeling great. I got the crap kicked out of me. They started shouting stuff across the road at me and Sal, stuff like "Skanky fucking greebo" and "get the fuck outta our town you freaks" and of course I had to retaliate. They came over, and Sal ran. Just ran away. I was calling after her, and they grabbed me, and . . ." she trailed off, and sobbed into Ginnys now very angry body.

"What complete fuckers" was all the could manage for a moment, then added "they hurt you bad?"

Hermione lifted up her shirt to show a bruise on her stomach, then some cuts up and down her arms, and more bruises. Ginny covered her mouth in shock, then gently touched 1 of the cuts. "Oh Merlin . . ."

"I bet you're wondering why I still do it, if get the shit beaten outta me" Ginny nodded. "Well, it's because I'm proud. I want to be different Gin, I want people to notice me. I want to stand out and show the world that I do exist. But it comes with a price, god it come with a price."

Ginny nodded, showing she understood. 1 of those rare nods, which are true. Not 1 of those "oh yeah I will say I understand to shut her up" but 1 of those that says "I believe, understand, and love you"

Jus then, there was a knock on the door. For a crazy moment, Hermione thought Harry had come in to see her, to apologise. But he avoided her eyes, and signalled he wanted Ginny. She kissed Hermione on the cheek, and left, giving her one last "be strong" smile.

As the door closed, Hermione cast a locking charm on the door. She sighed, and ran her fingers over the bruises. They were bad, she thought. Even after over month. She absentmindedly picked at a scab, then let out a small cry as it came right off. The blood flowed slowly out of the cut, and the pain suddenly distracted her. She tried another, and watched the blood flow freely. A smile crept onto her lips, as she opened up all the wounds.

* * *

3rd chapter up and running, hope you like :) a bit of drama in this 1 rather than just something going on. R&R please!


	4. Not Just A Normal Friend

Chapter 4 – Not Just A Normal Friend

* * *

Washing her cuts with a swish of her wand, she stood up feeling better. Another swish and any stains on clothing or sheets were gone. Hermione smiled, she didn't really know why, but she just did.  
  
The common room went quiet as she walked down the stairs, but she just smiled again at them all, and began to go over to where Ginny was. Then she saw her and Harry were in a very heated discussion. "Weird," Hermione thought, "I've never seen them fight before. I mean, there have been petty fights, but never that look in her eyes..." The happy feeling quickly fell out of the bottom of her stomach.  
  
"Harry, I'm sorry ok? But it's not exactly something I can help! Anyway, after that display with 'Mione back there, I'm not too sure if I even like you anymore let alone love you!"  
  
"And I'M sorry for THAT! But I can't help it if she wants to go round looking like she's dressed out of a bloody jumble sale!" At this, Ginny raised an eyebrow. Jumble sales are muggle things, so Hermione knew. She looked down at her clothes, then back up at the back of Harrys head. "You know, a place where people dump their old stuff they don't want and weirdo's come and buy them again? You know, whack jobs that enjoy provoking people to beat them up. ####### losers." he spat out.  
  
Ginny's mouth dropped open, her arm extended and her hand made contact with Harry's cheek, hard. Very hard. Harry froze for a split-second, touched his cheek, and then gritted his teeth. With fire in his eyes, he pushed Ginny. She stumbled backwards, and tripped over the curtains. She hit the floor with a crack. Hermione charged. She knocked Harry down to the floor and ran over to see Ginny. Her head had cracked on the marble hearth, and a trickle of blood ran out of her fiery hair and across the stonework.  
  
"Ginny? Oh God Ginny, please, open your eyes, hunny don't go, please, SOMEONE GO GET A ####### PROFFESSOR!" Hermione screamed, and several people charged out of the portrait hole. Screams and shouts were heard echoing around the castle.  
  
Harry was staring, horrified, at Ginny. Unable to move, his mouth hung open and suddenly, seeing the blood for the first time, he threw up all over the carpet. Hermione turned on him.  
  
"YOU! This is your entire fault! How DARE you insult me, then when she stands up for me you ATTACK her!" She stood up, and spat on Harry, breathing heavily on the floor.  
  
Just then, everyone's attention was distracted by Mme Pomfrey heaving herself through the portrait hole. "Where's the girl?" she panted, and ran in the direction of everyone's fingers, over to Ginny's lifeless form. "Whose fault is this? Because him or her and Hermione are the only ones to accompany me to the Infirmary." All heads turned to Harry and the pile of sick on the floor. Except there was no Harry.  
  
Hermione screamed in frustration as she saw a broom disappearing off into the distant sky at high speed. He had run away, the coward. Well, flown. She knelt down next to Ginny.  
  
"I'm so sorry, please hold on Gin. You can't go, you're all I have left, Gin, darling, I love you, please..."  
  
And the world went black.

* * *

She awoke in a bed in the infirmary. For a moment, she was confused. Then it all rushed back. In one second the flashbacks rushed through her mind, up until seeing Ginny's porcelain face, her dry lips, the deep red seeping through her hair...  
  
She shot upright, and scanned the room for her beautiful Ginny. There was a screened bed right at the end, which must be her. After quickly listening for Pomfrey, and hearing nothing, she crept out of her bed and tip-toed towards the green screen. Suddenly, she heard the door into Pomfreys office click open, and Dumbledore entered with the Matron behind. Panicking, she collapsed on the nearest bed, hoping Mme Pomfrey wouldn't notice the change.  
  
"Where is the poor girl?" She head Dumbledore ask, in his now old-sounding voice.  
  
"She's hidden from view. And Hermione's on that bed over there." Came the reply, and she heard footsteps making their way behind the screen. Risking opening one eye, she saw the shadows of the two adults cast on the screen. Dumbledore had a hand outstretched, placed on Ginny's forehead. Pomfrey was mixing a potion.  
  
"Where's Harry now?" He questioned  
  
"No-one knows. Maybe the forbidden forest, maybe out of Hogwarts all together. He's a very intelligent boy, could be anywhere. Probably thinks he's killed her."  
  
"He very well could have done. She's bad enough as it is." The old man paused, considering how to say what was on his mind. "There has been a certain . . . change in the boy lately."  
  
The matron nodded in agreement  
  
"Many professors have noticed it." Dumbledore continued, "Seems to have a high stress level over something. Not just exams."  
  
Hermione considered this. Dumbledore was right. Harry had been very different. She doubted it being to do with Gin; it just wasn't that sort of change. Christ, everyone's going mad! "Including me," she thought, "after all, I did go off with Draco!"  
  
"Hmm," Dumbledore was thinking. "Could it be worth getting the Marauders Map?"  
  
Mme Pomfrey shrugged, but Dumbledore just looked at her and she knew she was the one to go and get it.  
  
Once she had left, it was silent for a few seconds.  
  
"So Miss Granger, how did all this come about?" Hermione jumped, God that man had a way of knowing everything. She hadn't made a sound, yet he still knew she was awake! "Care to come round here? I know you're fine, and that you want to see her. Good job we came in when we did, or else I think Mme Pomfrey would have had something to say about you being out of bed." He really did have a way. And Hermione just knew his eyes were sparkling behind that curtain.  
  
She climbed gingerly out of bed, and padded bare-foot across the stone floor. Taking a deep breath, she peered around the corner. Ginny's head was bandaged up, making it look as if it would fall apart at any moment. She was still very pale, her brilliant hair standing out even more, and the freckles were more prominent. Still beautiful, Hermione thought. Her lips were dry still, and also a sickly pale colour. Blood soaked the bandage. As Ginny's eyelids fluttered gently, Hermione wondered what she was dreaming of.  
  
"Don't worry Miss Granger. She's not in a coma or anything, just asleep."  
  
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"But I still wish to know what happened with her and Mr Potter."  
  
So she began from her confronting the boys about their behaviour, right up to her fainting. Dumbledore listened intently, and when she was done, he let out a weary sigh.  
  
"Oh, the troubles of teenagers. Shame it had to come to this, Miss Weasly certainly didn't deserve this."  
  
"I can't believe Harry ran away. The stupid little bas-"  
  
"-And I'm sure Mr Potter didn't intend for this to happen either." He interrupted, looking right into Hermione eyes. She looked down at her bare feet and felt slightly ashamed. He was right after all. As always.  
  
They were interrupted by the sound of Mme Pomfrey coming back in. "Now I suggest you get some more rest, because you look like you need it." Hermione nodded, then as he walked past her he whispered in her ear "I know you wont, so I'll take Mme Pomfrey somewhere else for you." And he winked at her. What an amazing man, she thought to herself.  
  
Once they had gone, she pulled up a chair and sat in silence, watching her best friend sleep. A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. This was her fault. If she hadn't gone off on one and shouted at the guys, if she hadn't argued, if she hadn't been so different in the first place . . .  
  
Then Ginny opened her eyes gently. Hermione smiled, leant forward, and placed a kiss on Ginnys forehead. "Welcome back hunny"  
  
Ginny returned the smile, and Hermiones insides warmed up immediately.  
  
And Ginny pulled her down into a warm embrace. As she felt Ginnys warm tears trickle down her neck, Ginny whispered "I was conscious, when you said you loved me."  
  
Hermiones heart stopped.  
  
"It sounded . . . sincere. And, different to how . . . 'just friends' say it. . ."  
  
Her breathing quickened. Her mind was rushing. Thinking back on it, she did mean it differently. Thinking back on every thought she'd had about the young redhead in the past week, she realised they were different. The way she looked at her, admired her slender figure. Her amazing curves, that little wisp of hair . . . Was she, Hermione Granger, a lesbian?  
  
"...And it was lovely of you..."  
  
Did Ginny feel the same? Was that what she had been telling Harry she couldn't help?  
  
"...It's amazing knowing that you don't think of me as just a friend, and I feel the same about you. Not just a normal friend...."  
  
Here it was, she was going to admit it. How should Hermione react? What would happen, oh God would they kiss?! The butterflies in her stomach seemed to be caught up in some kind of tornado.  
  
"...I love you as a BEST friend."  
  
Hermiones stomach dropped out of her body. Best friend? She wanted to cry.  
  
"You know what I think? I think you're one of the best friends anyone could ever had 'Mione." And Ginny hugged her tighter.  
  
Hermione stuttered out a thank you, and then excused herself because she had been told to get back to common room by 7, and it was almost 7 now.  
  
She half walked half ran out of the infirmary, and leant on the wall outside. "What the HELL just happened?" she thought to herself, "was I just admitting to myself that I'm a lesbian? Am I!? Oh God, Gin, what do I think about her? I can't believe I thought for 1 crazy moment that anyone could love this skanky whack job!! So I DO want Gin to love me, or do I? RAR man this is so ####### stupid!! Who AM i?"  
  
She ran to the toilets and cried.

* * *

Poor Hermione, eh? 

Well, to cut a long story short, i am mildly annoyed. Because i am not getting any reviews. Even if you don't think its absolutely amazingly fantastic, please review just to let me know you have read it. Becuase otherwise, i dunno if there is much point. Please.


	5. The Need To Forget

Chapter 5 – The Need To Forget  
  
Hermione's world was silent, except for the soft splash of tears on the tiled floor. Confusion. That was all that she could comprehend. Questions, questions flew at her from every angle, questions about every aspect of her life. It would have helped if she had someone to talk to. But she was, after all, too ####### different. She sniffed, and the sound echoed around the walls of the empty bathroom, making her jump. Cursing herself for being so jumpy, and feeling stupid for surprising herself, she looked up into the mirror. Those initial thoughts she had had on the train all disintegrated. She no longer felt special, individual, more mature or prettier. She felt like a freak. A loser. Just what Harry had voiced.  
  
She gritted her teeth, as her eyes traced every contour of her body, picking out every imperfection. Upon reaching waist height she transfigured the mirror to full length. She had fallen arches, making her knees point inwards oddly, appearing knobbly and awkward. Her thighs. Too fat. Her hips. Too wide. Her stomach. God damnit she'd gained weight. Her breasts. Almost non- existent. Her arms. Scarred. Her face. Unclear skin. Her eyes. Angry. Sad. Hurt. Every imperfection joined together to make one big mistake. That was her alright. No wonder Harry and Ron didn't like her. No wonder Ginny . . . well, she didn't want to think about Ginny.  
  
She lashed out, smashing the mirror into tiny fragments, falling to the ground like the pieces of her mind. She was breaking too easily. She spat. So ####### weak. Pathetic. Pulling slithers of glass out of her fist, she watched the blood again trickle to the floor. Calmness came in waves. Anger would boil up, she would clench her fist, and the pain came again. Bringing an odd sort of calm.  
  
She walked to the paper towels in the corner and wrapped up her hand, and gazed out of the window. She caught sight of the Forbidden Forest. One thought came into her head: Fag Hollow. Maybe Draco was out there, maybe there was that state of mind they had called "stoned" out there, waiting for her. Maybe she could forget. She smiled, and walked out of the bathroom, and off into the grounds.

* * *

Sure enough, the group was there. She guessed this must be some sort of "weekend nights" thing. Where people with troubled minds came to forget them. Maybe forget themselves too. And that was just what Hermione Granger planned on doing!  
  
Draco, palms facing the sky, extended his arms in greeting.  
  
"Hermioneee! So lovely to see you here agaaiin!" He boomed, clearly enjoying himself already. He beckoned her over, so she walked towards him and took the smoking joint. Muggle magic, she thought to herself, as she took the first drag. Soon enough she felt the Hermione-of-old drift away, and within an hour the other Hermione bounced around her head.  
  
"So, you see, Harry is a _complete_ ########," she paused and winked, "_literally!_ And Ron is just a tart. 'Cos if they don't appreciate me for being who I am, for being different," she raised a fist in anger and defiance "then #### 'EM!"  
  
Draco grinned. "_Exactly_, see, that's why Goyle isn't round me anymore, because he was a dick to me about my individuality, so I showed him the ####### door! And, you do know that I would be mates with you, if it weren't for the house difference. 'Cos, ya know, I like you like this! Which is kinda funny, seeing as I used to, like, _hate_ you!"  
  
He giggled, then said "I was a bit of a #### back then, eh!"  
  
"You can say that again, ferret boy!" and she stuck her tongue out at him, which was replied to with a swift rising of the middle finger.  
  
Throwing the remains of the latest joint (God knows how many they had had) on the floor and stamping it out, Draco continued "But now, I am at one with others! Hehehe. But seriously, I have my Slytherin image to uphold! I must abide by the laws of life there, and if I don't, it would be _hell_."  
  
"Yeah, I get ya." Hermione agreed, and found her head nodding a few more times than she meant it to. He was alright. Really alright! And damned sexy in that shirt! Or at least that's what she told herself, as she licked the sticky side of the paper, pressed it down and twisted the end. Draco used spells, but Hermione preferred the old muggle method.  
  
She collapsed on to the grass for no apparent reason, and watched the tree- tops swirl oddly. "These clouds," she thought to herself, "really cannot make their mind up which way they are going to fly. And whether or not they are really there . . . how odd!"  
  
She felt a body next to her, and Draco asked what she was looking at.  
  
"Turnips." She said, simply.  
  
He frowned. It took Draco around 10 seconds to remember what he said the first time Hermione had been there. Upon realizing, he laughed for a further 20 seconds. Then stopped. Then laughed some more, and kissed her on the cheek.  
  
She blinked, surprised by the kiss, then grinned.  
  
"Drackey just kissed a _Gryffindor_!" she taunted  
  
"Oh pants!" he cried, then "Meh, I'll get over it I'm sure. In fact, I will do it again!" and he planted another kiss on her cheeks.  
  
She gasped in mock horror, "Now this is unfair! I think _I_ should get to kiss _you_ too!" so she lent over and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed cutely.  
  
They lay in silence for a moment, then he said "I _did_ kiss you twice . . ."  
  
"Oh yeah! Well, here you go then!" and she leant towards his cheek again. But he moved, and their lips closed together. Hermione was taken a-back, but didn't break contact. The kiss deepened.  
  
Her mind began to scream at her "What do you think you are doing?! That's a _Slytherin_ you are kissing there! Not just any old Slytherin, but _Draco_ _Malfoy_! Stop!! **Now!!"** But she didn't. There was something inside her that wanted to prove something. God knows what either thing was, but they were there, and Hermione was going to listen to them God damnit!  
  
Tongues entered mouths, arms snaked around bodies, and pulses quickened as the darkness fell around them.

* * *

Birdsong. That was the first thing that hit Hermione as she woke up. Why the hell was she waking up outside? Did she faint again? She tried to roll over, to ease the pain in her aching back where she had lain on a stone. But there was something on top of her. She gingerly opened her eyes, squinting against the sunlight. She could see . . . yellow. Yellow? What? No wait, not yellow . . . blonde. That was when she felt the heart beat on her chest, the breath on her neck and Draco Malfoys erection still inside her.

"####!"

* * *

Review please! And do tell me if you think this story is moving too fast. But whatever you do, don't try to tell me Hermione is overreacting. Maybe if you were her, this wouldn't happen, but remember you're not her. Everyone's minds work differently, and everyone reacts differently, so don't slag me down. Please? : )  
  
And by the way, yeah, you do over-emphasize a lot of words when you're stoned lol

I apologise if the swearing comes out as #s, its because this program my dad has installed turns swearing into hashes, and i can't tell whether or not it effects what i type!  
  
Peace out


	6. AN

Ok, i have maybe figured out why i do not have many reviews, i had the "Do Not Accept Anonymous Reviews" box checked ::rolls eyes at self:: so hopefully now i will get a few more ::crosses fingers::

I hope to update again soon :)


	7. Bad Feelings

Chapter 6 - Bad Feelings

Hermiones pulse began beating fast again, as she lay there panicking. Malfoy was damned heavy, and she couldn't exactly wake him! Still hazy from sleep and the bright sunlight, she fumbled for her wand. Her fingers found it lying in the grass a little way from them, so she conjured up the hovering clock again. ####, 5:32am, she didn't have long before everyone would be waking up.

She tried again to roll Draco off her, and failed. He was all damned determined when asleep! She had no choice but to try and, (urgh, she shivered), slide him out of her. So, she began to shimmy upwards, whilst holding him down. This unfortunately meant his face going right in-between her breasts. This thought didn't exactly fill her with joy. Sure enough, as soon as his face was just in the middle, he began to stir. Hermiones eyes shot wide open, and she tried even harder to squirm out quicker. Too late, his eyes were open.

As he propped himself up, the first thing he noticed was the part of a woman's anatomy he was faced with. His eyebrows rose, then he looked up. His eyes widened when they locked on Hermiones. She blushed violently, he blinked a few times. Silence.

"Erm, morning." He began.

She would have laughed at the completely inappropriate comment if it had been anyone else. But as it was her, she just replied with a chocked "Hi."

"Well, I guess I should, erm, get dressed . . . what time is it?"

"I guess around 5:45."

More silence.

"Um, I don't suppose you could, well, close your eyes?" He stammered, went to look downwards, then remembered what was below him and looked at the ground next to him.

"Sure, sure" she said, anything to avoid looking at him. "But do us a favour, throw me my coat."

So he did, she covered herself up, and closed her eyes. This, she had to admit, was THE most embarrassing thing ever to happen to her. Even more embarrassing than the time she came out of the toilet with her robe tucked into her knickers. Then an idea popped into her head.

"Well," Draco said quietly, "I'm done."

She opened her eyes to see him dressed rather haphazardly, hair looking quite a bit like a blonde version of Harrys unruly mop. He was looking down at his feet. There was that cute little blush again.

So she dressed herself, with him facing the other way, and then tapped him on the shoulder. He turned round to come face to face with a spell headed his way.

"Dememo Eight!" she shouted (A/N, this spell erases the memory of the person. You say the spell and the number after is how many hours are erased)

The spell hit Draco square in the forehead, and he stumbled backwards. He slid down a tree, and his eyes closed.

"Er, Draco?" Hermione questioned, walking towards him. "Draco, are you awake?"

He moaned. Sitting up he rubbed his head where it had whacked the tree. "Yeah, what the #### happened?"

"Well, we were doing the usual thing last night and, well, we sorta kissed but that's all. And I woke up out here and you were still asleep. So I waited for you to wake up."

"Oh, thanks." And he smiled at her. Something stirred in Hermiones stomach and it was not a good feeling.

They made the journey back to the castle in relative silence.

* * *

Ginny was not yet out of the Infirmary, so no-one had really noticed Hermiones absence. She slipped into the entrance hall at a different time to Draco so nobody got suspicious, and her day began. She cursed under her breath as she realised first lesson was potions with Slytherin. She practically ran to the dungeons, not wanting to have to deal with Snapes sarcastic scolding.

Thankfully, she got there just as the class was entering. Draco risked a small smile at her, and she got the God-awful feeling in her stomach again. As she entered the room, she noticed the empty seat next to Ron. So Harry hadn't returned yet then. That stupid feeling was now replaced by guilt; it had been mostly her fault. Ron looked a bit at a loss without his best friend, and that guilt doubled. So she sat next to him.

"'Mione?"

She looked at him.

"Sorry. Honestly, I am."

She smiled. "It's ok Ron, I can sorta understand I guess."

He smiled back.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Miss Granger and Mr Weasly, but this is no time for exchanging loving gazes across the cauldron. You are in my potions class and I wish to begin."

Ron blushed furiously, but then again, he always did when Snape addressed him. Hermione just smirked at him and sweetly replied "I'm sorry sir, but I was not exchanging loving gazes with Ron, sorry if that's what turns you on and all."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Dracos jaw drop, then he grinned. Guess that was a smirk and comment for even Malfoy to be proud of! She felt a little proud of this. But her moment of pride was disrupted by Snape exploding at the front of the class.

* * *

She sat outside Dumbledores office, twiddling her thumbs. The door opened, and she saw the old man step out, head bowed, looking serious. Her stomach dropped, she had landed herself in the #### this time! Then he looked up, and she saw that sparkle in his eye. Maybe she hadn't then.

"Miss Granger, I do believe Professor Snape sent you up here?"

"Yes Sir," she replied, wrestling with a smile desperate to form on her lips.

"Do come inside." So she got up and followed him inside.

She thought that Dumbledore could cram no more gadgets and instruments into his office, but he had. She gazed around the room at all the portraits, and smiled at Fawks, perched in the corner. He ruffled his feathers in reply, and then Dumbledore spoke.

"Miss Granger, I do believe that apologising for the loving gazes," Hermione went to interrupt, but he held his finger up to communicate his wish for her silence, "false as they may or may not have been, would have been the best thing to do."

She looked at her wringing hands, he sure did have a way of penetrating into your mind, and she really didn't want him to go there at the moment.

"Sorry, professor." She mumbled.

"It's perfectly alright Miss Granger, and I'm sure your classmates enjoyed the little display anyway" and he smiled at her. She turned to leave when he spoke again.

"Harry is still not back."

Her stomach flipped. So this was the reason he had agreed to see her over such a small thing as Snape being prejudice as usual.

"And I'm sure you are aware of just how dangerous it is out there for him."

She nodded. He extended his arm and offered her a seat. She took it, she didn't trust her legs not to give way, and she didn't have a god feeling about where this conversation was going.

"We need to know where he is most likely to have gone. It would be Sirius, but for his death. It may have been Lupin, but we have already owled him to no avail. We were wondering if Harry ever talked about anyone else…" he trailed off. The worry lines on his face were obvious, as were his reasons to worry; Harry in the power of Voldemort could have many consequences. All of which were too horrific to even contemplate.

"I'm so sorry Professor, but Harry and I have been very . . . distant lately. I will do as much as possible to find out where he could possibly be."

"Distant?" He queried.

"Well, Professor, I'm guessing it hasn't escaped you that I have changed since last year…."

"Oh yes, oh yes, I remember now. Links in with what happened to Mss Weasly I do believe?"

"Yes sir, that's right."

"Well, I'm sure you patching things up wit Master Weasly will help things immensely."

How the?! She'd only begun talking to him last lesson! Blimey.

Just then, Hagrid burst into the Office.

"Headmaster Sir! They've got 'Arry!"

* * *

Sorry this chapter was a little bitty, if you get what i mean. Not much really going on, but i had a vision last night about where this story is going to go, but there are certain things that need to be got out of the way etc etc. So i'm trying to hurry it along lol.

Peace x


	8. Fear

Chapter 7 – Fear 

Adrenaline pumping, Hermione and Dumbledore ran after Hagrids' huge strides, off in the direction of the Infirmary. Her stomach dropped even more when she realised she would have to face Ginny, but that was the least of her worries right now.

"Oh God, let him be alright" she prayed, and Hagrid burst through the double doors, nearly knocking them off their hinges. Hermione feared the worst. The sight that greeted them was not pretty.

Harry was lying on the bed, colour completely drained from his face. His hair was still messy, but also un-even. As if someone had played a cruel trick by cutting it badly while he was asleep. There were cuts and scrapes over every part of his visible body, not to mention huge bruises, and blisters. Like he had been in a fire. Robes torn and dirty, he looked a picture of pain. Madame Pomfrey stood over him, not too sure what to heal first. Dumbledore walked slowly towards the bed.

"We all have a fair idea which party is responsible for this." He began, everyone nodded "but the question is, who. Which person in particular. It could have been Pettigrew, it could have been a Death Eater or, perhaps even Voldemort himself." Hermione saw everyone in the room shudder at the name, except for Dumbledore, of course. "I suggest that Poppy gets to fixing the boy right away, go down to Snape to make the appropriate potions, whilst I call together the members of The Order." Just then, Ginny roused from her sleep in the bed opposite. "Miss Granger and Master Weasly, you may stay here until Miss Weasly is quite herself again. Everyone else, depart."

So they did, the room emptied and it was just Hermione, Ginny, Ron and an unconscious Harry. Hermione walked slowly over to him, afraid to go too close. She sat down gingerly next to him, glanced over at Ron helping Ginny, then back to Harrys lifeless face.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I really am. I just wa- " And her sentence was cut off by Harrys chest jerking upwards and a choked scream escaped his lungs. His arms began flailing as his breathing quickened, and his cries came out only as hollow rasps. Hermione screamed and jumped backwards, as Harrys eyes shot open. No longer were they green, but a deep dark black. His pupils were undetectable inside those pitch black eyes. His hands shot out, as he tried to reach for something in mid air, and as his sleeves fell down Hermione had the shock of her life.

On his forearm was the Dark Mark, not normal, it was cut into his body. Someone has dragged a blade through Harrys skin, so very deep, and torn up his flesh in the shape of the dark mark. Suddenly, it erupted in blood and fire, Harrys screaming became worse and worse, his face contorted in agony. His chest was heaving, breath ragged and quick. The cuts glaring bright white with fire, and then it stopped. It just, stopped. Harry fell lifeless onto the bed again. Ron and Ginny gawped at Hermione, who reached her hand slowly up to her face and wiped it. Looking at her hand again, she saw Harrys blood. The blood of her best friend since first year, and it was her fault.

Hermione took a step backwards, then towards the brother and sister. Ron took a step away, but Ginny stood where she was. As Hermione looked into G innys eyes, she saw fear. Fear for Harry and fear of Voldemort. But it was masked by strength. Hermione swung her eyes to Rons, and they showed fear too. But it was a fear of _her_. As if Hermione has caused this. As if she had _wanted_ this. He took another step backwards. Hermione turned and walked calmly out of the room.

* * *

She walked down the stairs in a daze, unable to believe what she had just witnessed. Then, in the Entrance Hall, she stopped. Having no idea where she was going to go. No way could she go to lessons, not the Common Room, not Fag Hollow. Just to the forest. Maybe to the lake to cool off. And she opened the doors into the sunlight.

As she wandered across the lawn, she felt the sun beat down on her, and the breeze cool her burning tears. She walked into the outskirts of the forest; sunlight dappled by the sparse leaves, and sat down leaning against a tree. Gazing out across the lake, watching the golden light reflect off the crystal water, she wondered how things in life could be so beautiful, so peaceful, but yet others so horrific and ugly. How something as sweet and innocent as a bird chirping in the trees, getting food for it's young, could live in the same world as something as vicious as Lord Voldemort.

She got out her wand, and began absent-mindedly drawing in the loose dirt by her side. "What the #### happened to Harry?" she murmured, "God I hope he hadn't been captured by Voldemort. Well, if he had, why would Voldemort have let him go? Maybe he escaped. I hope he wakes up soon. I'm so scared for him . . ."

Then she focused. There, in the dirt, was the Dark Mark. The mark of pure evil, which _she_ had drawn. Her breath caught in her lungs and she flung her wand to one side like it was on fire. She looked around, as if to check no-one was watching, and then scuffed it out with her shoe.

"What the hell was that?!" she gasped, "the _Dark Mark_? ####, something's wrong. Very wrong."

She reached behind her to retrieve her wand after she had thrown it aside, and cried out as a sharp branch made a cut down her arm. She cradled her arm up against her body, gazing at the blood trickling across her skin. It shone in the sunlight, such a deep colour with such gleaming highlights. Seeing as it wouldn't stop, she made her way over to the lake and dipped her arm in. Bringing it out, her whole arm was now covered in the now diluted blood. One more dip and it was all gone. Drying her arm off on her robe, she stood up and went back to the tree.

Back there, she caught sight of the branch again, tinged just a little with her blood. She sighed, and shook her head, yet her eyes were drawn back again. Kneeling down, she snapped the branch off the tree and turned it over in her hands. She sat down again, leant back and closed her eyes. Moving the hand holding the branch so that it was poised above her arm, she gently lowered the point onto here pale skin. Dragging it across her flesh, she saw skin peel away. Then, a second time. The third time was harder, and she drew blood. Feeling a little bit of adrenaline, she did it again, deeper. Then the last gash was so deep the blood flowed from it down her arm. Her heart was beating hard and fast, and she smiled as she saw the blood gleam in the sunlight once again. She leant back, closed her eyes, and drifted into sleep.

* * *

She awoke to see the Slytherin Quidditch out on their brooms, which was not a good thing because it meant lessons had finished. She yawned, and stretched her arms above her head. It was then that she felt the scabs on her cuts stretch and break open in parts. She cursed under her breath, for being so stupid as to do it somewhere so noticeable. Creeping to the lake again, she rinsed off the dried blood and tried to wash her robes, constantly thinking. Wondering what had made her do that, what had made her cut herself, why it had felt _good_. It scared her.She made her way back to the castle, making sure to keep her robes covering the cuts.

Up in the Common Room, she found Ginny and tried to push out all previous thoughts about her, Harry was the most important thing here.

"So, 'Mione, you told Dumbledore about the . . . you know what on Harry?"

Hermione cursed under her breath, she bloody well should have done. Why didn't she think of it?

"It's just, well, me and Ron thought it would be best for you to, seeing as you were . . ." Ginny avoided Hermiones eyes, "closer."

Hermione nodded and knew where she had to go.

"I'll come to hun, just to make things easier and support you, yeah?" Ginny picked up Hermiones hand, and her sleeve began to slide down. Hermione pulled her hand away like Ginnys was red-hot.

"Sorry," she said, seeing the hurt look on Ginnys face, "I . . . " and she just trailed off. The two girls sat in silence for a moment before Hermione broke it.

"I guess we should get going to his office then." Ginny said, Hermione followed reluctantly.

* * *

As they rounded a corner in a rather shadowy, deserted part of the castle, a figure darted in front of them and blocked the way.

"Don't, even, dare." The voice rasped. The girls stopped dead in their tracks, and as the figure began to advance they leapt backwards in fear. "Don't go to that ####### man. It's nothing. It's nothing." He continued to stalk towards them, until Hermione felt her back against the wall. They were cornered, and they couldn't make out their potential attacker.

"What to you want?" Ginny stood defiant. "And who the #### are you?"

"I, gorgeous, am your worst nightmare." And he stretched out a hand to stroke her face, which was filled with disgust. "Now stay away from Dumbledore . . ." he pushed Hermione out of the way, and got right up close to Ginnys face. As he entered the light of dusk filtering through the dirty window, Hermione saw Harry mutter "or else."

* * *

Sorry i haven't updated in a while (not that anyone actually seems to care!) but u have been on holiday. 

Peace to anyone who actually bothered to read this, and thanks x


End file.
